I pray that the writing of my journal will speak less of self doubt, of despair, and self consciousness as time passes. Each day reveals to me my inheritance in the Lord and just like a piece of land I will work to cultivate it until it is fruitful. Not forgetting who I was, but striving towards who He wants me to be… (BMO 5/4/2010)
Everyday since the fall of the company and the resulting legal issues that followed, I have taken inventory of all decisions both negative and positive from the early years of my life. It did not take me coming to a Federal Prison Camp to reveal to me my shortcomings. Those were revealed when I made every stupid decision. I had spent many hours, before I came here, trying to understand who I was and why I made the decisions that I made. My contemplation of events disgusted me. I decided at that time that they would never be repeated and I began down the road of the commitment of change but as I wrote above the pain of those decisions continued to haunt me. God revealed some things to me recently and I will share one of the most recent journal issues.
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